Regret

1 06 2012

Last night I heard that a friend I went to high school with lost his son. He was killed in a car wreck. He was 14 years old. As a parent I can not imagine anything more painful. It makes me want to hug my kiddos. I still call them my babies sometimes, even though two of them are grown.

Being a parent is a gift. I am not sure I have always been as grateful as I should be. I can remember when they were younger losing my patience and feeling like certain stages would last forever. Granted, it is hard to be patient when you are a sleep deprived mom. Sleep makes a big difference. My first two kids are 14 months apart. There were several years of little sleep for us. At the time it seemed like we would never get through it – now it seems like it was just a short small blip on the radar of life.

I know kids whose parents have rejected them due to their sexuality. It breaks my heart. When these kids tell their stories, the pain in their eyes is hard to watch. I always leave with a deep heaviness – for the kids and also for the parents. It is heartbreaking. I wonder will something happen – like what happened to my friend’s son – and they will be left with the pain forever. They may never have the chance to reconcile, never be able to reunite and tell each other they really do love each other.

Have you seen the movie “Prayers for Bobby”? It is like that. After the son is gone the Mom realizes she was wrong – she begins researching and finds out what I found out – that what we have been told about the bible is not the whole truth. She begins helping other LGBT kids – but it is too late for her and her son. He is already gone. That regret would be very hard to live with for the rest of your days, don’t you think?

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5 responses

1 06 2012
bikeblisschickCherilyn

Love wins. Control loses. I know how often I need to re-learn this lesson.

4 06 2012
michelesmusings

so true! that is simply said – Love wins, Control losses!

1 06 2012
switching teams

I so agree with you on this. My family has been very accepting of me and I am thankful for that. My uncle came out around the same age that I came out so the whole family has been very welcoming of my coming out and meeting my partner. We went to a huge family wedding last month and she got to meet everyone, even my 84 year old grandmother. I will have to look for that movie. I am also thankful that my two sons are accepting of my partner as their stepmom and that my exhusband accepts my life as it is now. My younger son doesnt’ really understand what is going on, but my older son is 15 and he very much gets it and it is fine with him. My exhusband could have made our lives difficult and he hasn’t.
Thanks for writing.

1 06 2012
michelesmusings

I am so glad your family and even your Ex has been supportive!!! Makes it so much better for the kids as well. Your story is beautiful. thanks for sharing it!

2 06 2012
switching teams

Thanks so much. You are such a good mom. keep writing. I love to read your posts.

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