17 07 2012

I have had several people tell me that either they don’t really have a story, or that their story is nothing special. Let me tell you – if you are LGBTQIP or even straight, we all have a story. It is our stories that help us draw together as people. Stories are what break down walls and help people find common ground. I would like to encourage you to find your story and tell it whenever you are given the chance.

We never know who might hear something they have never heard before and another barrier is knocked down. My son is telling his story this week at PFLAG. We were talking about it last night. He volunteered a few months ago to do the B for Bisexual. We have been doing a series of education using all the letters – we called it Alphabet Soup. Well, now that it is actually time for him to tell his story he is not too sure he should. He, like all of us, has a beautiful touching story.

I will just summarize some things that I learned about my son last night. He says he always knew he was different, even as a very young child, but didn’t understand why. When he became a young teen and realized he had same-sex attraction he started doing research on being gay. Just when he decided he was gay, then the next day he would be sitting somewhere and a beautiful woman would walk in and he was drawn to her boobs. Then he was like “how can I be gay and like boobs?” Anyway – this is a short summary remember – he finally realized he seemed to be equally attracted to men and women. So he was SUPER confused.

Then one day he saw a drunk woman on MTV who was talking about being bisexual. She said she slept with both men and women. (Now you must imagine my son telling all of this in a strong british accent at midnight last night. We were rolling with laughter) So, he determined that this woman was a slut – but that he might also be bisexual even though he wasn’t sleeping around. He started researching bisexuality (which has far fewer information to find) and determined he was, in fact, bisexual.

He thinks he was about 15 at the time. He told it out loud to his sister for the 1st time at 18. That is a LOT of years to carry something that heavy alone. I so wish I knew then what I know now and could’ve been more open and talked to him then so he wasn’t alone. He talked of years of begging God to take his same-sex attraction away. It breaks my heart – how could God take away what he created in the first place. Being LGBT is not a choice – people are born that way. How do I know that? From all the 100s of stories I have heard about people knowing as young children. When you are 5 it isn’t about sex folks.

If you are a parent of small children – don’t let your religion interfere in your relationships. Start educating yourself now. Have the right talks with your kids now, so that if they have questions they will feel they can come to you and ask them. Don’t be afraid. It is NOT the end of the world to have a queer child – it really isn’t!! That is our culture speaking – NOT the truth. Don’t believe the lies any longer.

I dream of the day that parents and children alike don’t have to feel shamed for who they are, for any reason. Lift up your chin – look people in the eye and tell your stories. We all need more humanity and less judgement in our lives. It is scary to be vulnerable – but it is so worth it to be true to ourselves. We deserve it!!




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