Arrogance

4 08 2012

I used to be so arrogant about my kids, back when my older two were younger. I would hear people say things like, “what if your child turns out to be gay? what would you do?” I would laugh at such statements. Probably not out loud – although that depended if I was with my other arrogant “nothing can touch us because we follow God” friends then I might have laughed out loud. homosexuality was a choice after all. Perverts made choices to be “those” people. I was raising my kids right. We loved God and attended church weekly. We prayed together at home and did bible studies. Of course MY kids could never turn out “like that”.

HAHA! Makes me laugh now. What an idiot I was. Heck – I still am sometimes, but I hope I am getting some wisdom over time! The point is, as parents we do the best to our ability. I was not a perfect mother, but I did the best to my ability. Here is one of the problems with homosexuality – the people who falsely still believe it to be a choice, immediately look at the parents. I know for me, that was where I first went myself. “Where did I go wrong?” “what should I have done differently?” Here is a memo to me and all the other parents out there – the answer to those questions is NOTHING! Nope – we didn’t do anything to cause it – so there would be no way to prevent it either. I may have done plenty of things that screwed my kids up that they will one day find themselves in the therapists office about, but me causing my son’s bisexuality will not be one of them.

I will go further than that – my son is perfect just like he is!! I wouldn’t change him if I could. Sure in those first few months when the adjustment was difficult for me I wished it would be different. To be honest, sometimes late at night when I am worrying about where he is and if some idiot will decide to beat him up, then I may think about him being straight. The truth is that is not what I really want. My kid is the most fabulous young man I know – and his queerness is just a small factor that helps create this wonderful picture of who he is. I wouldn’t really change anything about him.

I thank God for the slice of humble pie I was served since those days of “my kids would never”. How selfish and arrogant I was. I actually thought that my children’s lives were about me – that I had everything under control and that I was creating perfect little humans. UGH! I am glad I now see the big picture – their life is theirs to live – good and bad. As far as my son being queer – I couldn’t care less really. It is such a small part of who he is to me now. What I would say to a young mom that I heard say what I used to say? “Lady – you would be so lucky as to have one of your kids turn out queer.”

It is a wonderful glorious journey indeed!

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