Big Move

17 09 2012

Well, it is done – my kid has moved to New Hampshire. I have mixed emotions. I miss him terribly, but somehow it feels wonderful knowing he is in a place more diverse than we are here. I am happy he is following his dream as well, but since this is a blog about being the mom of a bisexual son – I will stick with that theme.

He ended up leaving 5 days later than was originally planned. We were waiting on a part for his car. Every day felt like a bit of a gift – one more day with him before he left. I know for me, those days made the transition much easier – somehow through the five days I got more and more ready to let him go.

The last day he was here I woke up that morning and we knew the part had come and the car would be ready that day at 5pm. I texted Jake and asked if he wanted to go eat chinese and then go to the tattoo shop. He has several tattoos he has wanted for sometime. It just seemed fitting on his last day to go together. It ended up being a beautiful day. His younger sister was with us, and I think it helped her ease into his leaving as well.

I want to tell you why there is a part of me that is relieved he is in a “safer” place. Now, I know that anything can happen anywhere. I also know there are places where same-sex couples are often seen in public, holding hands, etc… Where we live is NOT one of them. So, we sat down to eat and I immediately noticed a man who was staring. Not the brief stare, it was the kind of stare, that even when you make eye contact, they do not look away. It was actually more of a glare than a stare. I was wearing my “Christian + Gay = OK” button – but he was too far away to have been able to read that. We talked a bit about it through our menus, finally laughed it off and just enjoyed our meal. The glaring continued throughout our entire time there. When we were finished, I got up to go pay, and the kids followed me in a few minutes.

When we got to the car, Jake said, “It was my toes, mom.” Me: “what?” Jake: “that man – when I got up, he looked down at my painted nails and shook his head back and forth and then just glared at my face. I stared back, smiled at him and left.” I was immediately angry! In fact, if we hadn’t already been driving I probably would’ve gone in there and confronted him. I don’t know if that would’ve been smart or not – but DAMMIT!! Who the hell does he think he is? He is NOT the judge and jury of mankind – I hope he gets an awakening to that fact very soon. Karma can be a funny thing sometimes.

So, we did go on and enjoy our day. Now, you know why I am a bit happy my son is in a place where even straight guys paint their nails sometimes and no one thinks much about it. I am still here though – in a rural place that has ways to go as far as education about LGBT people. I have many people in this valley I know and love who are LGBT. That is why I will keep wearing my buttons, and keep speaking up. People should be able to go and enjoy chinese with painted nails if they want to without being glared at!! By golly, this is America after all!! 😀




One response

17 09 2012

I think that as a Lesbian couple with an amazing framework of friends, Tina and I forget that there is, unfortunately, a limit to acceptance. We are welcomed and loved by our softball family, and always have been, so I didnt’ even think about it before we picked up with another team a few months ago. The coach called and asked for O to play with them, and we accepted his invitation. It was about 20 minutes into the day when I realized that there was one set of parents that WERE NOT happy to see us there. I endured those stares that you spoke of, the ENTITLED ones, where they don’t turn their head. By virtue of the fact that you are gay, they are ENTITLED to throw out every ounce of manners they’ve ever been taught…because in their mind, you don’t deserve it. I never reacted, just smiled each time I “caught” them. We were supposed to be on the same team that weekend. It was really very sad. 😦

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