Loving Everyone…even when I don’t want to.

8 10 2012

October 11th is International “Coming Out Day”. I always find this week intriguing – wondering how many people actually do come out “literally” this day or is just mostly people remembering when they or their loved one came out to them? I would love to see some comments with your own coming out stories if you are comfortable telling them!!

I never knew there was such a thing as “Coming Out Day” until several years ago when my own kid came out and I began to get educated. My son came out in August, so my 1st “coming out day” was just a few months later. I was still pretty much in the closet with a lot of my friends and so I hadn’t said a lot to anyone, especially publicly like face book. A friend posted a status on Facebook telling her friends that no matter if they were Gay or Straight she loved me, etc… So, I shared that as well. Then a friend from high school posted a nasty thing on her status about all of her friends who were accepting and encouraging their gay friends. How sinful we all are and how she knew that no matter what she was “right with God” in declaring homosexuality a sin and not tolerating it. Whatever lady…

Well, one thing I know now – there is a learning curve when you are newly out or have a love one who is recently come out. I think I was really over defensive of my son at that time. I am probably just as defensive of him now, but have gotten smarter about how to address things like that. NEVER argue scripture with someone who is determined they already know everything and God speaks directly to them and not to you – it is a pointless use of energy. Anyway – I did exactly that and brought up how Jesus said nothing about homosexuality but said plenty about divorce. Dang – if she wasn’t divorced!! I didn’t even know that – needless to say – she unfriended me and blocked me. Still to this day I will see on other friend’s pages where they respond back to her by name – that is how you know you are blocked.

I haven’t lost any sleep over it really. I mean I felt bad at the time that she thought I was putting her down. I told her I didn’t even know she was divorced – nor do I care of judge. I was just using that as an example really – bad choice. I have just given those types of situations to God – it is not my job to change hearts – that is His. I just want to continue to grow and learn to be a better ally – one that encourages dialog – not shuts it down.

So, I think  every “coming out day” I will always remember that story – with a little regret and mostly sadness. Not so much because I lost her as a friend, because she obviously wasn’t really a “friend”, but just that there are people who want to be right more than they want to be in a relationship. That is OK with me – I think they will be sad lonely people in the their end days. I just want to love EVERYONE – even the unlovable ones like her. That is what Jesus called us to do – anyone can love people who are nice to you – but if we can love the ones who show hate – then we are progressing!




3 responses

8 10 2012

If you’re interested in my coming out process, some of it is posted on my blog.

8 10 2012


9 10 2012

No problem.

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