When do we know we have arrived?

23 10 2012

Maybe we never do actually arrive? I think we are always wanting to get smarter and grow stronger and move forward in life. At least I do and the people I enjoy hanging out with the most are that way too. I enjoy learning new things about myself and others. I have a problem with people who don’t want to grow or change. I try not to be hard-hearted, but I am a bit, I will admit. I just don’t understand that kind of close-mindedness, they are missing out on so much!!! At the same time, I know I am still missing more freedom and joy in my life and that is why I desire growth and change all the time.

I realized something the other day and my first thought was “I have arrived!” but then I had to remind myself that we don’t every really arrive… Anyway – in our culture we learn early, probably even before school age, but if not before, school will do it to you – “we will be  made fun of if we don’t fit in and conform”. Just ask any LGBT person. The majority of them spend most of their lives trying to “act straight” so as to not be bullied or made fun of. Now, those of us who are straight do it as well. We conform to our “gender”roles, etc… We don’t like to be bullied or made fun of either.

When I first started this journey with PFLAG and speaking out for LGBT people, etc… I would wonder sometimes if people who don’t know me would wonder if I was gay. I didn’t dwell on it much, but it did come into my mind and it was a bit unsettling. Then when my husband wanted to put a rainbow flag on his fire helmet I said to him, “People might think YOU are gay.” He didn’t care. I wasn’t there yet though…

I realized the other day I am there. Who cares if someone makes the wrong presumption and assumes me gay? Would it matter? NO! The reason I thought it did matter was because I have been so conditioned by our culture to think there is something wrong with being gay. Now, that I have reconditioned myself, my entire brain thinks differently – I wouldn’t care if anyone was confused and thought I was gay or transgender. Wouldn’t bother me a bit. Now, that is change and growth people!!! I pray for the day we ALL can get there. It is such a free place to live and be ourselves, no matter what our sexuality is!

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4 responses

23 10 2012
K Alanis Ginsu

I always thought you were arrived in that sense. 🙂 I wonder if the fact that you didn’t feel comfortable with people assuming you were gay was not so much that something in you thought gay was wrong at that time, but a reason similar to why many gays stay closeted; that you didn’t feel comfortable with how some people would treat you while holding that assumption.

1 11 2012
rainbowicecream

could’ve been the reason? I am not sure… I am glad I am where I am now though, feels much better!

25 10 2012
Rachel

Hi, Michele! I live in Bozeman and my daughter, Kyra, was a counselor with Jake at the Young Singers Club last summer. She had fun hanging out with Jake and thinks he’s pretty darn great. 🙂 Anyway, love your blog and so appreciate your thoughts.

My youngest brother is gay and is one of my best friends and favorite people in the world. We grew up with parents in ministry who have very traditional views and beliefs. It is really hard for him with our parents, but he has all of my love and support. It just infuriates me and makes me so so sad to see how Christians treat others.

I am interested in going to Pflag meetings in Bozeman. Would love some info on that from you!! I found your blog through Kathy Baldock. I heard her speak this summer at the library and have continued to be blessed by her. What an amazing lady!

I look forward to meeting you sometime soon…maybe at a pflag meeting? 🙂
Have a wonderful day!
Rachel P

1 11 2012
rainbowicecream

Rachel!!! how great is that?!! So funny you found me like this!! Please email me – mgrabbe1008@msn.com !! thanks! Michele

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