As a Mom…

13 02 2013

How does it feel as a mom to see things in the news. It depends on the day. Somedays I can distance myself from it and not let it bother me. Such as the recent teacher in Indiana and the students who don’t want gay students at their prom. (you can read about it here) I can read that, and tears come into my eyes and I wonder if the gay kids have supportive family. Are they even out to their family yet? Or are they dealing with all of the rejection and judgement alone – within their own head? It breaks my heart – but I can rationalize – “that isn’t my kid” and I can store it away on a shelf of sadness – yet not let it affect me.

Why would I do that? because the pain is too great to bear. The percentage of those LGBT kids who don’t know that life will get better and go ahead and end their own lives before they find out – it seems like too much pain to carry around. Somedays I just can’t do it.

Other days I can. Other days I allow myself to feel what those parents and kids must be feeling. On those days I want to draw my sword and charge like a Samuria Warrior in battle. Those days I want to hug all of those parents and kids – absorb their pain and let it drive me to continue on in this fight for justice. Don’t forget that one day, not that long ago, I would’ve been the one applauding that teacher. I would have been the parent so proud of my child for standing up for their “Christian values” I was the one blind to the pain and hurt that people of faith are actually causing in this world. I was the exact person I now feel such disdain for.

There comes in hope – If I could change – if my Southern Baptist Mama could stand at Montana Pride holding a sign above her head that read “1 Straight, Proud, Christian Grandma” and playing “Over the Rainbow” on her boombox so that the man on the ladder screaming his judgment and shame couldn’t be heard – if we can change – there really is hope. What will it take? The truth – the truth will set you free – just like it did us. The truth about what Jesus said about homosexuality – NOTHING by the way. The truth about what the bible really said in original Hebrew and Greek. The Truth – that is all that is needed.

I have a dear friend whom I am proud to call my friend. She recently attended several session by an Ex-gay minister, who is unfortunately spreading lies about homosexuality. He is not speaking the truth. She tried to stand up on the last night during a Q & A time and read a statement that was a few minutes long. She was not only thrown out of that “loving” Christian church – she was nearly physically assaulted. There is something very wrong with what is happening in our churches today. You can read what happened  here .


In case you don’t read it all – this is the part you NEED to know. This is the statement Kathy was going to read – this is the TRUTH about rejecting our children when they come out:

“Do you know the consequences of rejecting your gay youth as opposed to accepting them?

If parents with gay children were to follow the teachings and therapeutic tools offered by Kent Paris, your gay youth are EIGHT times more apt to attempt suicide than those gay youth who are accepted.

They may suffer depression SIX times more often than those who are accepted.

They are THREE times more likely to get involved in drug and alcohol abuse than those gay youth that are accepted.

They are THREE times more likely to contract HIV and/or STDs than accepted gay youth

This is research; this is scientific, peer reviewed research.

If you are the parent of a gay youth, when you leave here, stop on the way home and buy a package of razors, a bottle of whiskey, a hypodermic needle and a lifetime supply of antibiotics because that is the life you will more often impose on your gay child through your rejection and shaming.

This is what you will be doing to the child you have been charged to raise in the way they should go.

Do not try to force your child to be something they are not, something to your liking. You will not only be responsible for the effects on their mental and physical health, you will also, in all likelihood, push them from God.”




4 responses

15 02 2013

I was there with Kathy and this was my old church. Kent Paris was invited to give answers to tough questions, of which he could not logically do. While his testimony was powerful, that was all it was: a testimony. When put on the spot, he couldn’t back even one of his assertions logically. Everything he does and says is strictly based on his own experience 30+ years ago and those few gay men that he counsels with “raparative therapy.” I applaud you for posting this on your blog. My ex-husband and I thank you. We, too, blog on WordPress about our experience. I wish you peace and blessings.

Emily Reese

15 02 2013

I will look at your blog Emily! I admire and love Kathy so much!! So, did you leave this church due to it’s stance on LGBT issues? You know why it all scares me? Because if I wouldn’t have been educated prior to my son’s coming out – then I am afraid I would’ve been one of these parents – grasping for straws and trying to “pray the gay away”. I am afraid of the damage I would’ve caused my family and especially my son. Thank God – He had opened my eyes already!!! (((hugs))) to you for your bravery!!

15 02 2013

Yes, ultimately I left the church due to the handling of our situation. The church I went to did not help us, and essentially told us they could not. The few people who were intimately involved with us during that long year and half (especially those who set up prayer and Bible study for me) ended up literally telling me that I had no Biblical reason for divorce since the only reason is adultery. I was also accused of wanting to “go out and sin” myself (whatever that means) which is why I wanted a divorce. Those well-meaning but incorrect people felt that my husband could be fixed. He wasn’t really gay, he was confused or something. Anywho, there have been a few who have continued to love us anyway, even if they don’t agree with us.

And then I met Kathy. Yep. My world is pretty dang awesome.


15 02 2013

wow – can’t wait to go and read some of your blog! What a story. Kathy is a God send – that is for sure!!

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