Dear Me…

8 04 2013

Lately I have thought a lot about the old me. The me that was a much more closed-minded, rigid soul of a person. I often ponder what words would have caused me to become more open-minded and less rigid person earlier than I did on my life’s journey. Here is a letter that I hope I would have listened to back then:

Dear Younger Me,

I am going to say some things that may make you feel uncomfortable. Listen anyway. I know that you tend to get defensive and that comes from your insecurity. Please realize that you can trust me, I have grown to love you over the years much more than you love you now. You have a lot of good to offer this world – spend more time looking at your good qualities and less time focusing on your shortcomings.

I want to talk to you about something very dear to your heart – your church. There are many good people and good things happening there, but there are some things you need to be aware of. First of all, if any leader uses fear tactics to sway you – beware. Fear is NEVER from God, so when your youth leader tells you that Catholics, Mormons, and the like are all going to hell and that if you hang around with them that they will draw you away from God, do NOT believe it. I am still not sure where this mentality came from, but it is garbage. You do not need to fear being drawn away from God by anyone or anything. He loves you more than anything, and you have a heart to seek Him. Trust yourself and your faith and all will be well. Love people, and leave their eternal destiny where it belongs – in God’s hands. That is one thing you do not need to worry about.

Also, when you are told that if you do not tell every single person that you meet about Jesus, and they end up in hell, then on Judgement Day their blood will be poured on your hands – literally – don’t take that on. That is entirely too much pressure for a young person, or any other person. Can you imagine if a human was responsible for the eternal destiny of every other human? Eternity is God’s job – not yours. Again – Love people, and leave their eternal destiny where it belongs – in God’s hands. Trust me, He is capable of handling things.

Are you still with me? Take a deep breath before you read the next part. Everything you have ever been taught or told about homosexuality is false. Everything – all of it. Yes, I realize you have seen that in the bible and this is not making sense to you. I know that fear and unbelief are rising up inside your chest right now. Take some more deep breaths and remember that Jesus is truth – and that God never uses fear. This fear is not from God. This fear is from what you have been falsely taught, and it is ok move past the fear into truth. You will begin to research and will find out some amazing things. For instance, the word homosexuality was added to the bible in the 1940’s and the original Hebrew and Greek are FAR from what the bible says now in many instances, not just about homosexuality. You will learn to take the bible seriously, but it can not be taken literally in many instances. That is fine and dandy, and again there is nothing to fear because the best news is that God is right with you while you are learning and growing. and God is still speaking today. The bible is a great resource, but God is the best resource – tap into Him.

If I haven’t blown your mind already I want to tell you one more thing. One of your children will not be straight. I won’t tell you which one now because I do not want to rob you of the wonderful journey it will be when you find out. I will tell you that they know at a pretty early age and because of your previous stance and beliefs about homosexuality, they are afraid to tell you. The great news is that now that you know the truth, you can alleviate those fears. Talk about it – make sure they know that some people are born different and that it is fine with God and you. God doesn’t make mistakes. Buy more gender neutral toys for all of your kids. Boys can wear pink and girls can play trucks. Open your mind and make your home a more welcoming space for everyone to grow in whatever ways they desire. Life is full of possibilities – open up your mind to them.

One more thing, life is wonderful. I know right now, you must feel overwhelmed with all of this information, and maybe even a bit sad and grieving that life is not what you thought or expected. Allow yourself some time to adjust, but know this – once these truths begin to set you free, your life will be better than ever. You will feel more free to be yourself and that also helps you to allow those around you to be themselves without judging them, and it is a great place to be! Bottom line – just love people exactly as they are, leave the judging to God, although I think He spends much more time loving than any of the other things people accuse Him of. Just love people and the rest will fall into place.

Peace out – Me





5 responses

8 04 2013

Enjoyed your post! Although I may have some differences with your letter to yourself; I can appreciate it. However, your “bottom line” is right on point: “just love people exactly as they are, leave the judging to God, although I think He spends much more time loving than any of the other things people accuse Him of. Just love people and the rest will fall into place.” Thank you for this!

17 04 2013

thanks Sebastian!

18 04 2013

You’re so welcome, it is my pleasure!

25 04 2013

Holy Toledo. I loved this, more than you’ll ever realize. I think you were writing to the younger me (except that it was my HUSBAND who would be gay). Well done.


1 05 2013

Emily – thank you so much! I so wish I had seen this years ago and I can only hope that I would have listened more than argued… the jury will forever be out on that though won’t they?

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