Accidental Activism

24 02 2013

I recently read a Facebook post from a friend. She was stating her surprise and also expressing her thanks to her high school friends for supporting her PFLAG work and her work to advance equality for her son and her gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender friends. I couldn’t help but have a sinking feeling when I read it. Not that I am not totally happy for my friend to have been shown such amazing support – because I am. I just feel sad that my experience has been so different. I can count on my fingers the number of friends from my hometown who have shown any support. Heck – you probably know who you are if you are even actually reading this right now.

People say: “don’t take it personally”. I try not to, I really really do, but then I look into the face of my son or any number of my friends whom I love so much and it IS suddenly personal. These are persons – persons that I love.┬áPeople who are very important to me. Do you think I ever intended to be an activist of any sort? Let me just make this clear – NO! I did not have a burning desire in me to stand up, be laughed at, told I was being misled by satan and shunned by friends and some family. I wasn’t just waiting my whole life for the right cause to come along so that I could become an activist.

I stumbled blindly into this, and often have no idea how I got here or how to be a proper activist and spokesperson. I only know this, my love for my child was so strong that I had to find out the truth about homosexuality and the bible. I HAD to know if what I had been taught most of my life about it being a choice and a sin was true. That is how my journey began, it had nothing to do with the rest of the world. I had a conflict within myself, a conflict between what I had been taught and told and what I myself was finding to be true within my own experiences with my son. I knew my son was not a pervert or a misled sexually driven individual. Let’s just be blunt here, isnt’ that what is disgusting to us straight people? What they are doing in the bedroom? Yet my son had never even had a date when he came out – so I knew this wasn’t sexually driven. So, my activism days began around myself seeking truth. And just as truth often does – it was right there, in the open, I just had been looking in the wrong places and listening to the wrong voices.

So, even though at this point, I am sad that I have not had a lot of people I thought loved and cared for me rally behind me as I take a stand for equality, it certainly isn’t going to sway me or cause me to hang my head. You see, once you find the truth, you can’t go back to having your head in the sand. Why would I want to? The truth affords me freedom. Freedom to love and be loved in a way I have never experienced before. Maybe because they know exactly how it feels to not be accepted, I find my gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender friends and family to be the most loving, non judgemental folks that I have ever had the privilege of being around. Not, only that, they are FUN!!

So, whether you approve or not, whether you like me or not doesn’t sway me. I stand up because of love. I will never sit down and I will never shut up. And one day, when the truth finally seeps into that hole that you have your head stuck in, you will find this freedom also. You will wonder why it took you so long, just as I do, and you will experience some of the best friendships a person can have. I wish that for you…soon.