Bon Voyage Sweet Baby

 

My baby is moving 2400 miles away. Well, he really isn’t a baby anymore, but to me, he will forever be my baby. I fell madly in love with him the moment I first heard his heartbeat. Of course I didn’t know who he was back then, didn’t even know if he was a girl or a boy. I certainly didn’t know he was queer. God knew though.

I hope that we can remain friends after I share with you that this bouncing baby boy was born after 15 minutes of hard labor. Of all three of my children, his birth was by far the easiest. The hardest part was trying not to push until the Dr actual walked through the door and got his gown on. I really wanted a boy, but at the time of the sonogram they couldn’t tell what sex the baby was. I was told that chances were he was probably a girl. You can not imagine the screaming that went on when that boy showed up!

He is a precious gift – he was then, and he is today.   

I had no idea that he was queer. I sometimes think it will be fabulous when they figure out the genetic testing for sexuality. I hesitate because I wonder how many Pro-life supporters will suddenly have a change of heart on that belief when they find out they are giving birth to a queer kid. I think it would be helpful for parents. We could’ve been more aware of making sure there was less “gender” pressure on our son. We could’ve gotten him more gender neutral clothes and toys. WAIT?!! What a novel idea! We are entirely too gender specific in our American Culture. Boys CAN and SHOULD wear pink and girls CAN and SHOULD play with cars and trucks. A test isn’t necessary to figure out this small intelligent choice. Kids need to be more comfortable with who they are, even if they are straight. Boys don’t automatically have to feel pressured to play football instead of piano, and a girl can grow up and be a car mechanic! Why not?!!

OK back on track… Reasons I am sad he is leaving:1) He has the greatest laugh in the entire world. 2) He has a generous spirit and reminds me to be mindful of those who are less fortunate. 3) He is an amazing big brother, and his little sister is really sad to see him move so far away.

Reasons that It really will be OK that he is going: 1)He will be home for Christmas – and let’s be honest – Christmas will be here before we know it! 2)He is following his dream of composing music and going to a college of music, something he can not do here. 3) As much as I will miss him, I would never do anything to hold him back from his dreams. I have no idea what the future holds, but I do know that this boy is destined for something big.

Bon Voyage, my sweet baby, Bon Voyage!!

 

Closets are not for People

I know this blog is about my journey as a mom of a bisexual son…but I am venturing off of that a little today. I have three kids, two older kids and a surprise. My oldest is a girl. She turned 21 yesterday. Another milestone – yes – she can legally drink now. I thought I might share her birth story with you. Mostly because 21 years later I can finally laugh about it, and secondly because it would be nice to have it written down someplace. This seems like as good a place as any!

My OB/GYN had told me to go to the hospital during my pregnancy – do the paperwork – check out labor and delivery, etc… Well, in  “Michele” fashion – I did none of that! What can I say? I am a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl! The morning I was in labor no one believed me. In their defense, I had been having false labor for about two weeks. I would start having regular contractions – they would go from every 10 min to every 8 to every 5 and we would start thinking it might be real and then they would stop. I also had some bizarre rash. A reaction to the hormones or something but I was covered in hives from head to toe and could only find relief in Aveeno baths. So, that night I had spent about 6 hours in the tub. My husband came into the bathroom to tell me he was leaving for work. I had just had my first “real” contraction. I told him I had a pretty serious pain. He said, “Oh it is just those false labor pains. See you tonight.” kissed me on the forehead and walked out the door.

About fifteen minutes later I barely crawled out of the tub and couldn’t stand upright. I got to the phone and called my mom. Me: “Mom, I think I am really in labor.” Mom:”OK – but I bet you aren’t and I have to go to work today so I will be over after I shower and get dressed.” By the time my mom arrived I was still naked – in a fetal position on the bed. She kept trying to help me get dressed, I kept screaming “don’t touch me!” I now realize that is a symptom of transitioning – something a woman does when she is dilated to about 8 centimeters. It only goes to 10 folks…

So, eventually we were in the car on our way to the hospital. There was not another car on the road that early, but my mom insisted on stopping at every red light – I was in the floorboard of the front seat by then. Breathing – man was I breathing!! Thank God I actually did go to the birthing classes!

My hubby worked in a refinery with no phone. Yep – 21 years ago we did not all have cell phones! My dad was sent to get my husband. My mom and I get to the hospital and find Labor and Delivery. I walked through the double doors just as I got a contraction. I bent over, grabbed my knees with my hands and yelled “is this where I am supposed to be?” To this day I can still remember the faces on the five nurses who were all standing around the desk doing paperwork. They all looked up together and one of them said “I would say so.”

They ushered me into a room, into a gown, into the bed. Began doing paperwork (remember I never went early to do that?) I was being fingerprinted with my legs in stirrups! I was at the hospital 28 minutes before she made her debut into the world! My dad and husband walked in the door about a minute before she was born.

She was 2 days ahead of her due date. She has been ahead of schedule her entire life! I am super proud of her for a number of reasons but I think it applicable here to tell you of one of the proudest I have ever been. There was a friend who said we were wrong as a family to support my son. They said we were “flaunting” him and “celebrating” his sexuality in front of the whole world. A number of other hurtful things were said. You know what my daughter did? She said a profound thing that I will never forget. She said, “You know the families that find out they have a gay relative and they stick them in the closet hoping no one will find out? Well, we are NOT that family.” I love that kid more than the whole world!! I “flaunt” and “celebrate” ALL my children not because of their sexuality – that is just a small part of who they are – but because they are my children. I am the luckiest Mother on this planet because I have three amazing people who call me Mom!!