Crisis

19 06 2013

I have been contacted by three different people this past week whose families are in a crisis. What kind of crisis? “Coming out” or the consequences of “coming out” crises. I am thankful for my own journey so that I have something to tell them and to share hope, yet, I can not help but wish things were so different that a kid “coming out” as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender would not create a crisis at all. How did we get to this point as a society?

There were same-sex relationships WAY back in history, in many cultures. How did this happen that we have come to 2013 and people are pitted against each other like vipers depending on which side of the issue you stand on? How did it happen that people with good hearts and loving souls will cut off relationships with friends, family, or even their own child or parent because of their sexuality. When did it become so very wrong to be different? Or is it just that someone is different in a way someone else finds disgusting that bothers people? Then we can ask: “Why do people find homosexuality to be so disgusting anyway?”

I know the answer to that for me. I was told over and over again that it is disgusting. Leaders in my church talked about how gay men had sex with a disgusted look on their face as if they might throw up. I am sitting here in my living room with my 11-year-old singing and dancing on the other side of the room and I am wondering what was wrong with those people anyway? When I was her age, why did an adult at a church even talk to a group of kids about homosexual sex acts? It really does make me wonder who the real pervert was.

Speaking of my 11-year-old, she is appalled that anyone would consider judging someone for who they love. She gets downright irate about it in fact. She knows nothing of judging people for who they are or who they fall in love with. She is around same-sex couples and heterosexual couples frequently and to her they are just “Bob and Jim” or “Bob and Jane”. They are just people. So, I know for a fact that kids are not inherently disgusted by same-sex relationships. I don’t even think she has considered what they are doing in their bedrooms, at least she has never asked about it yet. I don’t really think anyone is concentrating on what their heterosexual friends do in their bedrooms, but somehow if a couple happens to be gay, we have the free reign to think about what happens in their bedroom and feel disgusted? I don’t think so. I have heard it said and I happen to agree, the person thinking about what people are doing behind closed doors really is the one with a problem.

I don’t have the answers to how we got to where we are now. I could speculate and blame a certain religious group, but it wouldn’t change anything anyway, so it doesn’t really matter how we got here. What matters is what are we going to do? Will we begin to fight for the kid who is being bullied and called “Faggot” right now in the hallway at school? Will we begin to fight before it is too late and he kills himself seeing no other answer? Will we speak up and make sure that our LGBT friends and family know that we support them?  You know the answer for myself – yes, I will. Will you? Someone’s life just may depend on it.

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Transformation Part 2

30 08 2012

I wish I had a secret formula – one you could sit anyone down, walk them through and they would have a lightbulb go off in their head and realize the truth about homosexuality. The truth is – I do have that secret formula. The problem is that most people who feel it is wrong are too afraid to actually sit down and talk about it. Oh – they may do a lot of talking, but they don’t do much listening.

The secret formula is this – there is a counter truth to EVERY argument that is brought up against homosexuality. Every scripture that says it is wrong can be rebuffed by a different scripture. Here lies the problem, not just with this issue, but every Humanity issue – there has to be a desire to learn and grow and change. If the desire to change is not there – nothing said or done really will matter.

I am not going to take up this blog space expelling the myths for you – the majority of people who read this already know the truth. If you are a person who is actually reading this because you do want to find the truth – please email me mgrabbe1008@msn.com with your specific questions. I assure you that I will not attack you. I will openly and honestly answer your questions. I do reserve the right to NOT answer you if you are belligerent and rude to me. That type of interaction can not go anyplace good. If you want to have a frank and honest discussion in a respectable way – email me – I would love to talk.

As I sit here at my dining room table and think of all the LGBTQ people I have met over recent years the love I feel in my heart literally does swell. I feel a bit like the Grinch on Christmas morning – my heart has grown about 10 sizes!! I so wish I wouldn’t have spent so many years avoiding anyone I thought might be gay. Heck ,back then, transgender and bisexual weren’t even in my line of thinking. I probably would’ve treated them as aliens from mars or something. Isn’t that such a  shame? I robbed myself of YEARS of being around people who are some of the most wonderful people I have ever had the privilege to know.

I have recently begun wearing a button that was a gift from a wonderful Christian lady, Kathy Baldock, who runs Canyon Walker Connections, a wonderful resource. She is a Christian advocate for LGBT rights. The button says “Christian + Gay = OK. I have been wearing it daily – I put it on when I leave my house. I usually forget I even have the thing on! The other night as I was at a very loud, busy event and ordering ice cream, the lady behind the counter says “Hey!” I look up from counting my change and she had tears in her eyes and said “I want to thank you for wearing that button. My daughter is gay. Seeing that means a lot to me.”