Closets and Elephants

Montana Pride was AMAZING!! It was tons of fun. Pride for me is more than fun though – it is about the stories. There were some doozies this year. I know it seems like a repetitive theme, but I hear the same stories over and over again. Loving caring families suddenly split and estranged when their child comes out to them. It is so sad. I feel bad for the kids – but I understand the parent’s feelings too.

One of my favorite things from the weekend was the Interfaith Service on Sunday morning. It was truly one of the most beautiful things I have ever been a part of. There was a beautiful part of the service where we lit candles for sorrow, then later in the service we lit candles of thanksgiving. I lit one of each. My sorrow candle was for the people who are not loved and accepted by their family exactly as they are. Apparently I was crying too hard for anyone to understand what I said though… that explains the deer in the head lights look the people had as I looked out at them. My mom was out there, she said, “I couldn’t understand you, but  ___ did and she told me what you said.” I mean when your Mama can’t understand you it is pretty bad. To be honest though, when I sat back down in my seat I was not sure I was gonna be able to pull it back together. The pain I feel for these families completely consumes me sometimes if I really dwell on the pain.

When it came time for the Thanksgiving candle I knew exactly what I was going to say. “When my son came out of the closet I went into the closet, slammed the door, and curled up in the corner.” I lit my candle in thanksgiving for the people who came into that dark closet, took my hand, and shared their courage with me until I could find my own. They eventually led me back out into the light of the world and I have been fighting to keep people out of closets ever since.

I have a friend right now whose son has recently come out to her. She is in the closet big time. She will hardly talk to me and has pulled back from our friendship. I think I must scare her – maybe I remind her of what is happening. You can probably guess by now that I am not one of those “beat around the bush” kind of people!! I pretty much tell it like it is and I believe in getting to the bottom of things. I do NOT believe in throwing a doily over the elephant in the room and calling it a table. She will get tired of that elephant eventually, and when she does, I will be here to hold her hand and lead her into the light again. I mean if we can’t help one another through hard things – how would any of us ever survive this crazy life?!!